Communication

I remember when Myles was 9 months old and we started to work on sign. He knew how to communicate his basic needs by signing them. More. Please. Thank you. Eat. Drink. He learned more signs as time went along. Car. Bubbles. Swing. Ball. I taught him these signs and worked really hard on them because I knew communication was the key.

Now at 12 almost 13 months old Bryce knows the same signs. He wines to get out attention. Lol. And then he points at what he wants and signs "More" "Please". We have not got drink and eat down yet but we are working on it. Myles helps us teach him these signs as well.

So I ask myself, if my 3 year old knows how to communicate well, and my 13 month old may not be able to say what he wants but he can use sign language, then why is it that grown older people do not know how to communicate. Why do people chose not to communicate. I have been having a really hard time dealing with adults my age and older not knowing, or choosing not to communicate. I have always thought that communication is the key to everything. Telling someone what you are thinking, doing, and feeling is the key to a good relationship. Relationship between mother and daughter, mother and son, in-laws, friends, co-workers, bosses etc. I have been dealing with numerous people that do not know how to communicate. This lack of communication has made things harder on my family, especially when it is family that is choosing not to communicate.

I am trying to raise children who can communicate their wants, needs, and desires so that they can be adults who can communicate. And communicate well.

Truth

"Myles did you just hit your brother?"
"No mommy"
"Myles are are telling the truth?"
"No mommy"

We try and teach our children the meaning of truth from the beginning. We make sure to praise when the truth has been told and scold when you know its a lie. As a mom to a 3 year old, I have a had some moments where I knew that Myles was telling a lie because the evidence was right there in front of me. And when I would ask him about it, the innocence in him would allow him to tell me truth and correct his lie.

Truth is factual. It gives everyone involved and accurate account of what is happening, how someone feels, or how they are doing. Some things are THE truth. And them somethings are YOUR truth. I often find the conflict between the two when someone tries to make THEIR truth into THE truth. I could spend hours upon hours writing and explaining what the difference means to me, but I won't. I will say that sometimes we have to accept people for who their are, THEIR truth. I accept that I can be selfish, that's my truth, not the truth. I accept that I can be kind, my truth. It would be wrong for me to argue that my truth is THE truth. Some people may not see me as selfish or as kind.

When talking about telling the truth, everyone needs to find out what that means to them. I know for me, telling the truth means that what you are going to tell me is going to be a factual account as to what is going on. I also know that in order for the truth to be fully told everyone who is involved must know this truth. No one can be left in the dark. If someone is left in the dark then their truth, is indeed a lie. Complicated I know.

I will continue to raise my children to tell the factual truth. But Id also like to know their truth. How they see the world, how they view things. THE truth is as important as THEIR truth.

"Myles did you feel like hitting your brother is wrong?"
"No?"
"Why not?"
"Because I was just playing, no hurt, just play"

That's his truth.

Faith

My family has been through so much during the years. But the one thing that has got us through is Faith. Now I know some would say that faith and hope are the same thing. But I don't think that's true. When you hope, I feel like you have doubt. Like when I say, "I hope Myles didn't just pee in himself", lol. Really I am thinking in my head, "Darn, I am pretty sure he just peed on himself, but I hope not." That is different from saying, " I have faith that Myles would not pee on himself on purpose." Faith just sounds so sure. It leaves no doubt. Faith is such a strong word.

I have faith that I am making the correct and best decisions for my children and my family. I have faith that Ola and I will continue to work on our relationship. I have faith that any other family problems that are going on with my mom, his mom, dads, sisters, uncles, aunties, and who ever else, will resolve itself. FAITH. Strong, no doubting, FAITH.

I will continue to live my life by faith. Its the only thing that has helped me through. Without it, hoping just wouldn't be enough.

Happy Birthday Myles

Sept. 3rd Myles Nathaniel Temitope Ayomide Adekoya turned 3 years old. He is such a big boy. In the same weekend not only did he turn 3 but now he is completely potty trained. He sleeps in undies now. Such a big boy. For his birthday we had fun having him open up gifts that we bought him. Later on this weekend he will have a sleepover with 3 other boys. They will play games and have fun. He has enjoyed his week celebrations of turning 3. I thank God for such a wonderful older son.

Myles last day of being 2

Myles also had his first day of preschool. He had so much fun in his new classroom. He loved his new outfit. He also celebrated his birthday with his new friends that day. Tomorrow....Sleepover. Happy birthday Myles.